Last night Dawn & I were talking about how we were before we were born again Christians, it's kind of sad how people get stuck in religion. I think that's why Al came into my life to get me out of the Lutheran church. Jean is a seventh day adventist and she doesn't want me to send her anything that isn't from the bible. I want to find a good boyfriend and Steph knows a guy at bread of life church, I know my dad will come into my dream and tease me. I will tell him to get out of my dream and I know he won't. I was reading about Jean's religion & they are strict like the Lutheran churches, they can't listen to any music but hymns.
I went out with Steph and we took Lacy with us, she took Lacy for a walk and then she hooked her onto me. Yesterday Lacy went to the vet and got shots so she was tired so Steph went to bring Lacy home. After she picked me up and she promised me that she would bring my charger and she didn't so half way up my street my chair started to die I made it home. Chris from apple home care called and I ignored him, yes this power chair has helped me but I am weaker. I don't know what is up with Steph lately I can't talk to her about anything. She's not coming on Saturday because she said that she needs time for herself, she always wants to be with Chad :(. It's not easy living here or being me I have had so many disappointments in my life. When I went to the library I was talking to a guy who got hit by a train and he's in a wheelchair too, I was telling him my testimony how I use to drink & swear in 2008 I became born again and that was the best thing in my life that I ever did. I trust in Jesus more than I ever did before.
When I went to the library I got 3 books and I already read 80 pages in a book, I love reading. It takes my mind off thing that are bothering me. Yesterday & today I've been sitting out side and I am really tan, my mom said that I've always tanned quickly, I sat outside for an hour and half. Last night when my mom changed me I have tan lines. I was coming home from the library it was 79 degrees out, when I got home I charged my chair then I went outside and did a puzzle & that's when I started to read. Once I start a good book I can't put it down, the book is fictional it's called "A dogs purpose" I texted to Dawn and told her that she needs to read it. My mom came outside with me and I knew that Jorma wanted to come out but he was in his boxers with no shirt on so he runs from me. I always keep my door shut a tiny bit at nights so I don't see him without a shirt on it would be different if he was my dad but he's not even supposed to be living here.
Last night When Dawn and I were talking, I was telling how Sammy wants to hang out but her mom doesn't want her to hang out with me. Sammy is always with her mom, she always needs to be with someone. Just like Alycia is they don't have any self confidence in themselves they aren't their own guardians and neither one of them have their high school diplomas. The state that I live you need to pass the mcass to graduate and Sammy passed it and she didn't get her diploma, my friends got it for me and I am still thankful for them too. My mom and Maiju didn't believe in me and they still don't, I know I could go back to collage if my health was better. But I have spasms and I always need to get fixed in my chair. I wish that the arc would hire me back. Today Steph dropped me off at the pizza place and all the clients were out there and I know they miss me. I wonder if I could volunteer at a group home and get out of here so I wouldn't be bored at nights, Steph is going to get married and I need something convent to do. I think that Sammy's mom doesn't like me hanging out with her because I would make her independent. When I go shopping my mom and Steph they won't follow me around Steph says the song "Mrs. independent by Kelly Clarkson" is my song I go every where myself, I know when I go to the library or church God is with me and he won't leave me. My family is so worried that a car might hit me, but Steph said that a car can crash into them too. I need my headphones because there are drug dealers and sometimes I carry my meds with me so I have to ignore them and my chair is my car. Everyone listens to music in their car and anyone could get hurt, I have more faith than anyone in my family.
Praise You In This Storm
Casting crowns
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
[Chorus:]
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
[Chorus]
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
I went out with Steph and we took Lacy with us, she took Lacy for a walk and then she hooked her onto me. Yesterday Lacy went to the vet and got shots so she was tired so Steph went to bring Lacy home. After she picked me up and she promised me that she would bring my charger and she didn't so half way up my street my chair started to die I made it home. Chris from apple home care called and I ignored him, yes this power chair has helped me but I am weaker. I don't know what is up with Steph lately I can't talk to her about anything. She's not coming on Saturday because she said that she needs time for herself, she always wants to be with Chad :(. It's not easy living here or being me I have had so many disappointments in my life. When I went to the library I was talking to a guy who got hit by a train and he's in a wheelchair too, I was telling him my testimony how I use to drink & swear in 2008 I became born again and that was the best thing in my life that I ever did. I trust in Jesus more than I ever did before.
When I went to the library I got 3 books and I already read 80 pages in a book, I love reading. It takes my mind off thing that are bothering me. Yesterday & today I've been sitting out side and I am really tan, my mom said that I've always tanned quickly, I sat outside for an hour and half. Last night when my mom changed me I have tan lines. I was coming home from the library it was 79 degrees out, when I got home I charged my chair then I went outside and did a puzzle & that's when I started to read. Once I start a good book I can't put it down, the book is fictional it's called "A dogs purpose" I texted to Dawn and told her that she needs to read it. My mom came outside with me and I knew that Jorma wanted to come out but he was in his boxers with no shirt on so he runs from me. I always keep my door shut a tiny bit at nights so I don't see him without a shirt on it would be different if he was my dad but he's not even supposed to be living here.
Last night When Dawn and I were talking, I was telling how Sammy wants to hang out but her mom doesn't want her to hang out with me. Sammy is always with her mom, she always needs to be with someone. Just like Alycia is they don't have any self confidence in themselves they aren't their own guardians and neither one of them have their high school diplomas. The state that I live you need to pass the mcass to graduate and Sammy passed it and she didn't get her diploma, my friends got it for me and I am still thankful for them too. My mom and Maiju didn't believe in me and they still don't, I know I could go back to collage if my health was better. But I have spasms and I always need to get fixed in my chair. I wish that the arc would hire me back. Today Steph dropped me off at the pizza place and all the clients were out there and I know they miss me. I wonder if I could volunteer at a group home and get out of here so I wouldn't be bored at nights, Steph is going to get married and I need something convent to do. I think that Sammy's mom doesn't like me hanging out with her because I would make her independent. When I go shopping my mom and Steph they won't follow me around Steph says the song "Mrs. independent by Kelly Clarkson" is my song I go every where myself, I know when I go to the library or church God is with me and he won't leave me. My family is so worried that a car might hit me, but Steph said that a car can crash into them too. I need my headphones because there are drug dealers and sometimes I carry my meds with me so I have to ignore them and my chair is my car. Everyone listens to music in their car and anyone could get hurt, I have more faith than anyone in my family.
Praise You In This Storm
Casting crowns
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
[Chorus:]
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
[Chorus]
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
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